Levitate

Sometimes you've just got to go out and do that thing that you really want to do...

Even if it means spontaneously layering on all the tulle and makeup, enlisting your older sister as shutter clicker and dog-photo-bomber-keeper, while balancing on a slippery wooden stool over wet, muddy moss, working those abs you have so diligently built up for months, trying to look peaceful, limp, graceful... yeah.

It's all for the passion, folks. #creativityFTW #photoshopFTW

Take that, January grey!

Splash

Magic is just a stone's throw away.

Fearfully and Wonderfully

I struggle with knowing that God made me beautiful in my own unique way. That I am enough in my natural, physical appearance. That beauty starts from within, and works its way out. That I don't need affirmation from those I love and admire to feel good about who I was created to be. That I am not all alone when I am in temptation, and that the Lord is not out of touch with my trials.

I was caving in under these struggles one morning, when I decided to fight back.

I decided to pull out my favorite psalm, 139, and defeat each lie that was festering in my heart with a solid truth from God's word.

"Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,” Even the night shall be light about me; Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You."

When I am suffocating in fear and temptation, His hand is still over me, and He is upholding me in that trial. I cannot flee from His presence, and in the darkness His light shall shine!

"For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them."

I do not need to believe that I am not beautiful, because I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the eyes of God. Who needs affirmation from the world, when I have been skillfully wrought by the Creator of the universe?

"How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You."

However much I crave affirmation from people around me, about my personal appearance, personality, etc. ultimately all I need to know is that my Savior loves me, and accepts me just as I am! His thoughts towards me are innumerable, His love towards me unfathomable! I am always with Him, and He will never leave me, nor forsake me.

Lady in Red

Throw back to the time we actually had snow in our backyard, and the January grey had not yet set in.

Throw back to when I mustered up my creativity, after letting it lay dormant for too long.

– – – – –

It feels like my ability to create is determined by the weather:

Bright = Let's go take pictures!

Grey = Who cares if I own a camera??

And yet... I want to master that grey. Someday.

But for now, snow.

Oh, and free-lensing. That was fun.

Wild Child

Last night I came home wet.

Wet from the tears of a broken heart. My heart, that I broke.

I cried myself to sleep, and I still feel damp from my tears.

It feels like every week I get more in touch with myself, my wild nature.

I grasp at something, something that isn't mine, and it all crumbles in my hands. Dust.

I'm discovering that I'm more wild at heart than I anticipated.

And I fear myself. What I can do.

Am I overpowering? Too much of a leader? Too much of a talker?

Not meek, mild, follower, listener?

Am I so obsessed with myself, my desires, that I'm blind to those around me?

Where is my balance? Who will I become? What is the realization of my true nature?

How do I handle this wild child?

A Bubble about to Burst

 My head and heart feel like a clogged drain. So many thoughts, so many feelings spinning around in a stagnate pool of limitation.

It's frustrating.

So many songs that need words, so many dreams that need actions.

Like a dog looking out the window through to the garden, with the door latch too high to reach.

Like a butterfly with its wings locked in park.

Now if I could just be patient enough to spread them...

Golden (and pretty much wordless)